Mashed Potatoes
It's Thanksgiving and I am feeling quite tired from the turkey and the wine. I stuffed myself with mashed potatoes and gravy and pillsbury cresent rolls and it was well worth it. I have taken a little flack for not wanting any pie. I'd rather fill myself with carbs than sweets. I just don't like sweets.
I retreated to upstairs after a watching a few episodes of House, which apparently is on a marathon today. Now, the kids and some adults are watching Home Alone while other adults play dominoes at the now empty kitchen table (I was invited but I turned it down). Others are sitting in another room talking about one uncle's recent trip to Russia. I can hear all of their conversations (and the moving ochestral theme song to Home Alone.
I'm having trouble enjoying any of this holiday this year.
My cousin, Ryan, died two days ago. He lived in New Jersey with my uncle on my mom's side, my aunt, and his two brothers. He was seventeen. He died of brain cancer and I just can't get past that fact. He was only seventeen. It just doesen't seem right.
For me, it's tough to say, "my cousin died two days ago," but I consider myself to be very lucky right now that I'm not saying, "my son died," or, "my brother died," like my aunt and uncle and other cousins are saying and living with.
I haven't seen Ryan in like twelve years. I'm far away up here in New York and while I was going to college and working full time, I lost contact with my family. I feel sad about it. Especially, now.
I remember Ryan as having a very big smile when he was a kid. He was full of energy and never stopped running around and playing. The last time I saw him (again, he was like five or close to it), he made up games for us to play -- us being: me, my brother, my three cousins from my other aunt on my mother's side, and Ryan -- and he kept us very busy, even when we wanted to rest or needed a drink.
I'm not able to go to wake (my mom said the funeral was going to "private"). I believe it's tomorrow, "black" Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, the beginning of the holidays. While people are rushing around, getting up early, shopping and being generally stressed out about the holidays, my family is greiving for the loss of my cousin.
It just doesn't seem right. He was only seventeen.
I retreated to upstairs after a watching a few episodes of House, which apparently is on a marathon today. Now, the kids and some adults are watching Home Alone while other adults play dominoes at the now empty kitchen table (I was invited but I turned it down). Others are sitting in another room talking about one uncle's recent trip to Russia. I can hear all of their conversations (and the moving ochestral theme song to Home Alone.
I'm having trouble enjoying any of this holiday this year.
My cousin, Ryan, died two days ago. He lived in New Jersey with my uncle on my mom's side, my aunt, and his two brothers. He was seventeen. He died of brain cancer and I just can't get past that fact. He was only seventeen. It just doesen't seem right.
For me, it's tough to say, "my cousin died two days ago," but I consider myself to be very lucky right now that I'm not saying, "my son died," or, "my brother died," like my aunt and uncle and other cousins are saying and living with.
I haven't seen Ryan in like twelve years. I'm far away up here in New York and while I was going to college and working full time, I lost contact with my family. I feel sad about it. Especially, now.
I remember Ryan as having a very big smile when he was a kid. He was full of energy and never stopped running around and playing. The last time I saw him (again, he was like five or close to it), he made up games for us to play -- us being: me, my brother, my three cousins from my other aunt on my mother's side, and Ryan -- and he kept us very busy, even when we wanted to rest or needed a drink.
I'm not able to go to wake (my mom said the funeral was going to "private"). I believe it's tomorrow, "black" Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, the beginning of the holidays. While people are rushing around, getting up early, shopping and being generally stressed out about the holidays, my family is greiving for the loss of my cousin.
It just doesn't seem right. He was only seventeen.