Caribbean Cruise & Hollywood, Fl Jan/Feb 2017 Part 8

2/4/17 1:15pm
Hard Rock Café bar, Hard Rock Café Hotel and Casino, Fort Lauderdale, Florida

I woke up hard around 8am and slowly got myself up, brushed my teeth, dressed, and packed the last of my things in my man bag. Then, I did one last check of my state room before turning off the lights and closing the door for the final time.


I went up to the top deck while announcements sounded through the ship periodically with instructions on what group was to disembark next. Then, I went back to the Lido Buffet for one last breakfast on the ship and took my phone off airplane mode. I was pleasantly surprised that my phone didn’t blow up with a bazillion messages. When I was done eating, I went to the top aft deck where I applied some sunscreen and laid on the lounger with my fedora over my face.






I was there for about thirty minutes when the group ahead of me was called. I got up and went down to the ice cream machine for one last treat, but there were no cones, so I grabbed an apple instead.

The crew was putting everything back in an orderly fashion for the next cruise which would begin boarding not long after I deboarded.

I walked to the main atrium and took the glass elevator down to the main deck one last time. I followed a short line of people who were walking down the gang plank off the ship and into the port (Port Everglades) that we had left six days ago.














I found my suitcase where I was told it would be and wheeled it out of the building. I took the first shuttle I saw despite it being $11.00 per person (I knew it was a complete rip off, but there were hundreds of people waiting around and I didn’t feel like integrating myself somehow). There were nine of us in the shuttle. At $11.00 each that was a $100 trip to the airport!

(By Conquest!)
Once at the airport, I wandered around searching for Hertz to pick up my rental car. I stopped near Starbucks to take a bit of a break (so many people everywhere!) and calm myself. I saw someone had shopped at a Lego store somewhere in Fort Lauderdale.










At this point it was 11:45am. I had scheduled my rental car pick up for noon, so I made my way to the Hertz counter while checking in on my phone. After stopping at the desk for half a minute (I wasn’t able to check in on my phone despite Hertz’s email saying I could), I walked out into the garage and picked out my car – a Hyudai Accent. It’s blue. I like blue.







I took a few minutes to check the car out for any visual injuries (none) and set up the seat and mirrors to my liking. I plugged my phone in, dialed up my cruise playlist, set up the GPS for Fort Lauderdale Hard Rock Café, and hit the road.


It wasn’t a far drive to Hard Rock. Once I arrived, however, it took me a few drivebys to figure out where I needed to go. And, after parking, I had to walk around in circles to find the actual café.












This place is HUGE. It’s not just a café, but a whole resort/casino monster thing. I hate it. In fact, as I am sitting her waiting for my burger, I feel dirty. I used to love Hard Rock Café (Americana food plus music memorabilia along with music and music videos and guitar pins),

but I’ve grown to dislike the corporate driven poo pool that it has become. What began as “Love All; Serve All,” has become a gross exaggerated celebration of all things excess: the new American Dream. Spend all your time and money here!


Of course, I still like collecting pins from different cafes in different cities and I’ll likely continue to do so.


Now, I am hungry and I want a beer and I need to sit down because I can feel the ship moving and I’m not on the ship anymore…


My plan, I guess, is to pick up my pins here (there is a rock shop in the café, which is in the casino, and a separate rock shop for the casino – it’s all very confusing, but it equals more money spent on pins for my collection) and then kill some time before heading to my hotel. Check in is 3pm and it’s about twenty minutes to get there according to my phone’s GPS.






(Red Meat Count: 7)











---------------------------

2/4/17 9:15pm 
Landshark Bar and Grill, Hollywood Florida Boardwalk

I’m sitting on the second story of this bar looking out over the boardwalk. I literally caught the last song of this band playing at this band shell on the boardwalk. It was a cover band and they played Beastie Boys’ “Fight for Your Right to Party.”











I’m trying to relax, but there are A LOT of people EVERYWHERE. I’m drinking Landshark Lager (of course) and a burger is on its way.

(Red Meat Count: 8)

I wanted to eat a taco at the Taco Spot, which is right next to my hotel, but it was packed and the tables are right on top of each other. There is a little bit more space here and my personal bubble has finally expanded to a comfortable level.

The Hard Rock resort/casino thing sucked. After finishing my lunch, I left the café and went to the café rock shop and then to the casino rock shop. Neither had the pin style that I'm collecting. I picked up one pin from each, however, that are very similar to the style I was looking for and I wonder now if these new ones are replacing the old ones.

(Hard Rock Selfie Count: 4)
I tried to take a selfie outside of the café and got yelled at. I looked like I was taking a picture of a black jack table, which is frowned upon. The people at the table and the dealer were literally shouting at me. I tried to explain that I was taking a picture of me and want to say, “ really don’t flatter yourselves a-holes.” But, they just wanted to give me nasty looks and shout. A dealer at the empty table next to the shouters stood up for me. “You were taking a selfie; that’s okay,” she said.

At that point, however, I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

I took a scenic route to my hotel, which is the Caribbean Resort by the Ocean. Funny, how I spent last week in the Caribbean Ocean and now I’m at this hotel (I know it says “resort” in the title, but it’s a hotel; let's be realistic, Caribbean Resort by the Ocean, you are no resort!). I booked this hotel, not because of the name, but because it’s near the ocean and cheap and there is a tiki bar and it’s right next to a place called Taco Spot. I’m not at the tiki bar tonight, because it was packed.


(Not my hotel)
I parked and went into the office. They told me to come back in 15 minutes. I wandered out onto the boardwalk and found it to be packed. I walked south for about ten minutes and then walked back. Hollywood Florida’s boardwalk is pretty much your typical boardwalk (except it’s cement and not boards) in that it has all your usual beach and souvenir stores, restaurants, and bars. Oh, and there is a beach and ocean right next to it.







For some reason, Caribbean Resort by the Ocean had two reservations for me. I explained I only made one and it was just me, so I definitely don’t need or want two rooms. At this time, I’ve only been charged once, but I may need to address the issue tomorrow when the manager hotel person is there.

I went to my room, which is a suite, as opposed to the studio I thought I had booked. So, I went back to the office and they explained that they only have suites here and confirmed how much I would be charged.

I brought my luggage in and passed out on the bed. Exhaustion caught up with me (I had been go, go, going since this morning) and I napped for forty minutes.




When I woke up, it occurred to me that the suite smells mildew-y. Can anything go right today? I needed to buy some groceries, so, I made a quick trip to Publix for food, an air freshener, and antihistamines.

*Sweet! One of my anthems just came on blasting and thumping through the numerous speakers about the bar: “One Headlight” by the Wallflowers. Maybe my fortune shall turn around.

The air freshener helped the mildew-y smell of the suite. I left the hotel after shaving my head and showering and wandered the boardwa – well, cementwalk – before ending up here.

I hope to find a party tonight. After napping, I feel restless. It is Saturday night, after all, and there should be things to do. I can sleep it off tomorrow and Monday. Bring on the parrrttayyy!