Wednesday, September 23, 2009

A Lament For A Fallen Comrade

Today, we say our farewells to a comrade who has served well for many years. We salute your service in a lament, Black Band T-Shirt, for being all that you have been.

When I purchased you, Black Band T-Shirt, from the internet store of a favorite band, I held no expectations for you other than to fit. And fit you did. Though, you didn't fit like every other small t-shirt that I owned. Nay. Black Band T-Shirt, your fit was far superior.

Across the chest, you were loose in such a way that allowed me full range of motions, but tight enough to give the illusion of slight pecs. In the waist, you fit snuggly allowing others to see and envy my thinness. In the shoulders, you were perfectly taught, without pulling on and stretching the neck-hole like lesser t-shirts. Your sleeves were long enough... but not too long... and that was good.

For years, I wore you sparingly and to events in which I wanted to look my best. No other t-shirt that I owned, Black Band T-Shirt, would have been up to the task. For years, you didn't fade; you held the very essence of the color black. While other t-shirts faded and were retired to other uses (pajamas, working out attire, mowing the lawn attire, dust rags), you continued to fight the good fight.

It wasn't until you were in your later years that you were reassigned to pajama duty. And even then, you hadn't lost your fit.

And so you served me well, Black Band T-Shirt. It is with great pride that we lament your servitude and do not indulge in sorrow for your loss. You shall be remembered for your fit and not the moment of horror before you were delivered to your final resting place. You superior blackness shall forever be sang in song... the image of the hole torn in your arpit shall forever be erased from my mind.