Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch Changes?

What I really hate about this time of year is the fact that it warms up really nice for a couple of days or a day here and a day there and then goes back to being freezing cold again. The brief warm up does a plethora of strange things to my body including giving it the false sense of knowing that it will continue to get warmER. Now that it's back to being cold again, I'm freezing. The house is the same temperature it was when it was 50 out a week ago, but I'm freezing. It doesn't make sense. And for that, I hate it.

But that is not what this blog is about. This blog is about deciding to make changes to yourself.

I'm going to start with my favorite piece of dating advice EVER: Just Be Yourself.

Be Yourself is my favorite piece of dating advice because it is the worst piece of dating advice that I can possible think of. True, I have used this phrase at times... but over time, I have realized the pointlessness of it and have begun telling friends who are freaking out about dates to "Chill out. You're awesome! And if your date doesn't see it then they suck and they don't deserve someone as awesome as you!" I think both phrases aim to do the same thing (make the freaking-out-person feel that they don't have to try too hard to win over their date, which ultimately puts them at ease).

Hey, I'm freaking out about my date tonight.

Just Be Yourself, yo.

Of course! I mean, I'm me all the time and I don't even have to try, so being myself is really easy!

Super. The problem that I have with people-being-themselves is that certain "parts" of the-way-someone-is isn't so set in stone that it isn't changeable. In other words, people change, they can change, and -- as such -- the person sitting in front of you today isn't exactly the same person that will be sitting in front of you in two weeks.

I recently got into a discussion with some co-workers about changing your self (for lack of a better phrase) when your current self doesn't seem to be getting the job done.

I explained that I had bought a book (the topic doesn't really matter here) about a particular thing that I decided I'd like to learn to do better. In other words, better myself. One of the reactions I received was something along the lines of, "Why do you need to change? Dude, just be yourself."

I think my response at the time was something to tune of, "I have been being myself for quite a while and it hasn't been working. So, the logical thing to do would be to do something different."

In hindsight, I should have said that one facet of myself is to continually improve on things, thus the buying of the book. Which would have been quite true.

However, needing to do something different is also true.

Making a change doesn't necessarily mean doing a complete 180. One can make small changes to one's self without doing a complete overhaul. I mean, we all make mistakes throughout our lives and many of us learn from our mistakes. We avoid going a certain way to work if we always end up behind the same school bus that makes us late. I have learned to stop closing my car door with my hand after getting out of my car because for the last month or so I have been getting an insanely sharp electric shock when doing so. I now pause after getting out of my car and I close the door with my foot. Making a change doesn't always take away from who you are.

Truthfully, I really like who I am. I do continue to make the occassional mistake (which is typically something that comes out of my mouth before I am able to make an assessment about whether I should actually say it that way or in a nicer way). As far as the world of dating is concerned, I cannot figure out why the cell isn't buzzing more often. The self that I am being is certainly my own and as far as self's go, I believe it's a worthwhile one that is deserving of at least a closer look if nothing else. But, if upon that closer look, my self can be a little bit better than it currently is, what's the harm in that?