In Which I Describe Why Aliens Need To Attack In Order For Me To Find Love and Why I Believe I Can Survive An Alien Attack
It's late... early... dark out on Sunday night. I just got threw watching a movie called Monsters. I had seen a preview for it months ago and then read reviews that it was poorly made. The premise of the film is that there are alien beings tromping around in an area in northern Mexico near the United States border. According to the poor reviews, all of the scenes that actually had the aliens in them were shown in the preview and there were only pieces of the aliens shown. In other words, everything is happening off screen.
This was pretty much true of the movie. The aliens were often "off screen," but this didn't take away from the movie at all. It was quite similar to Cloverfield, which I absolutely loved because it focused on the characters and their plight rather than the monster. Similarly, Monsters wasn't at all about the, er... monsters. The aliens were in the background throughout the film and really just provided a reason for the two main characters to be involved with one another.
The movie was mostly about the two people (aboy man and a girl woman) who found themselves together, trying to survive. Which, of course, leads to romance.
And this is what makes it an excellent movie (in my humble opinion).
I really dig films that take two people and force them to become compatible with each other in order to survive. They put aside their differences (usually after discovering that their differences could get them killed) and through the process of working together discover that they love each other.
Thus, leading me to the conclusion that my struggles to find love are due to the fact that there are no alien attacks currently.
According to many a great film, should aliens attack and throw the world into some sort of chaotic militarized cluster fuck, I would find myself thrown into a situation of survival with a small group of people that may or may not include a token black guy and will definitely include at least one really super hot chick.
In order to find myself and the really super hot chick falling in love, all I have to do is survive with said really super hot chick through a climax of events and be rescued.
I think that I can be successful. Here is why:
1. I am not a token black guy (they always seem to die).
2. I am not entirely strong (the muscle heads think they can take on anything and get killed proving themselves).
3. I am not in the army (army guys are often expendable and die by the handful in alien films to show the ruthlessness of the aliens).
4. I am pretty cool under pressure and nothing surprises me anymore (even aliens).
5. I used to play a lot of laser tag and am quite good at ducking and weaving and using a laser gun should I come across one (the hero never starts out with a weapon, but often finds one at a crucial moment and somehow knows exactly how to use it).
6. I'm small enough to hide (or crawl through a tight space) and have an uncanny ability to sneak up on people (or aliens).
7. I'm a musician (not really sure why this will help me survive... but I think it will).
8. I'm a pretty unassuming gentleman if I do say so myself. I'm the 'every man' if you will. And the every man is always the hero who gets the girl.
Monsters ended with the boy and girl kissing and the army rescuing them. However, the film started out with a random convoy of army guys shown through the night vision goggles of one of the army men. Another army guy was talking on a radio stating that they picked up one male and one female and were transporting them back to base. Suddenly, a giant alien appeared out of nowhere and flipped the lead vehicle in the convoy. The army guys stopped and got out of their vehicle and began shooting at the alien. Debris fell on the vehicle and a guy in civilian clothes was seen pulling a girl, also in civilian clothes, out of the vehicle. In the chaos that ensues, the guy and girl are seen again and she appears to be unconscious or dead and the guy is frantically trying to get someone to help him... but, the army guys are distracted, shooting at the alien. And then the scene goes black and title is shown. So, while the movie ends with a budding romance between the main characters, it begins with the possibility that they didn't survive much past their first kiss...
Such. Melancholy. I. Love. It.
This was pretty much true of the movie. The aliens were often "off screen," but this didn't take away from the movie at all. It was quite similar to Cloverfield, which I absolutely loved because it focused on the characters and their plight rather than the monster. Similarly, Monsters wasn't at all about the, er... monsters. The aliens were in the background throughout the film and really just provided a reason for the two main characters to be involved with one another.
The movie was mostly about the two people (a
And this is what makes it an excellent movie (in my humble opinion).
I really dig films that take two people and force them to become compatible with each other in order to survive. They put aside their differences (usually after discovering that their differences could get them killed) and through the process of working together discover that they love each other.
Thus, leading me to the conclusion that my struggles to find love are due to the fact that there are no alien attacks currently.
According to many a great film, should aliens attack and throw the world into some sort of chaotic militarized cluster fuck, I would find myself thrown into a situation of survival with a small group of people that may or may not include a token black guy and will definitely include at least one really super hot chick.
In order to find myself and the really super hot chick falling in love, all I have to do is survive with said really super hot chick through a climax of events and be rescued.
I think that I can be successful. Here is why:
1. I am not a token black guy (they always seem to die).
2. I am not entirely strong (the muscle heads think they can take on anything and get killed proving themselves).
3. I am not in the army (army guys are often expendable and die by the handful in alien films to show the ruthlessness of the aliens).
4. I am pretty cool under pressure and nothing surprises me anymore (even aliens).
5. I used to play a lot of laser tag and am quite good at ducking and weaving and using a laser gun should I come across one (the hero never starts out with a weapon, but often finds one at a crucial moment and somehow knows exactly how to use it).
6. I'm small enough to hide (or crawl through a tight space) and have an uncanny ability to sneak up on people (or aliens).
7. I'm a musician (not really sure why this will help me survive... but I think it will).
8. I'm a pretty unassuming gentleman if I do say so myself. I'm the 'every man' if you will. And the every man is always the hero who gets the girl.
Monsters ended with the boy and girl kissing and the army rescuing them. However, the film started out with a random convoy of army guys shown through the night vision goggles of one of the army men. Another army guy was talking on a radio stating that they picked up one male and one female and were transporting them back to base. Suddenly, a giant alien appeared out of nowhere and flipped the lead vehicle in the convoy. The army guys stopped and got out of their vehicle and began shooting at the alien. Debris fell on the vehicle and a guy in civilian clothes was seen pulling a girl, also in civilian clothes, out of the vehicle. In the chaos that ensues, the guy and girl are seen again and she appears to be unconscious or dead and the guy is frantically trying to get someone to help him... but, the army guys are distracted, shooting at the alien. And then the scene goes black and title is shown. So, while the movie ends with a budding romance between the main characters, it begins with the possibility that they didn't survive much past their first kiss...
Such. Melancholy. I. Love. It.