Good Enough
It seems to be that there are two major things in any one person's life that have the most effect on that person. One is the job. You need money to survive. Some strive for certain type of jobs. Others take what they can get. Regardless, your job dictates a lot about who you become in that you need to live somewhere that is close to your job, your day is scheduled around the time that you work, and your residence and property is dictated by how much money you make. The other thing that has the biggest effect on a person's life is the whole significant other thing. Who you are "with" in an adult relationship effects a good portion of how you spend your time. If you are with someone who is controlling, then you are limited in making decisions. If you are with someone who has clear goals, your life may change as your significant other achieves their goals. If you are with someone beautiful, they may get hit on constantly and you may develop a fear that they will cheat. If you are with someone who wants lots of children, then you may have to change your goals.
Other things have big effects on a person's life, but I think the two that I mentioned are the major ones. It's funny, though, because how can one possibly know that they are in the most perfect job for them? How can one know that they are with the most perfect person for them? You can't. Unless you have worked every job and cohabitated with every person in the world.
It's pretty obvious that finding "perfect" is an insurmountable goal (whether you'll let your mind accept that fact or not) and so, aren't we all just constantly settling?
We work jobs that seem "good enough" because we have not found "perfect." We marry people who are "good enough" because the "perfect" person may still be out there.
Of course, it's possible that by some stroke of luck one could end up with that "perfect" job or that "perfect" spouse. Just by the nature of percentages, and the way that fate sometimes works, it's a thing that could happen. But, the reality is that most of us are settling and we don't even know it.
What is "perfect?" With so many variables that any given job or spouse could have, I'm pretty confident that there may not even be a "perfect" for everyone. Let's face it, some of us have various issues that prevent us from acknowledging how great something is. (As a side note: "great" is somewhere between "good enough" and "perfect" on the scale). And some people may have more than one "perfect." For the sake of this blog entry, we are going to assume that there is a "perfect" and that there is only one "perfect."
If that is indeed the case (that there is one "perfect" job for everyone and one "perfect" significant person for everyone), then what is the step down?
Let's say that one step down is "great!" There are probably a lot of "great" jobs that you can work at and a lot of "great" people that you can shack up with. However, where the hell are these jobs and these people? They are spread out all over the world... and the world is a big fucking place. There are so many people and some of them really fucking suck and they have jobs and they work at the places where you work making the jobs less than what they could be.
You could find a "great" job as far as the work is concerned, but the people that you work with are really shitty. So, you work a job because it's "good enough." It pays the bills; it does what it is supposed to do. It's a means to support whatever (food, shelter, big screen TV -- that kind of stuff).
The same thing happens with your love interests. You find someone who is "great," but they may work a job that is a different shift than you and you barely see them. Or they may have family that they need to travel to frequently. Or they have a kid. (Not that any of these things are bad things overall, it's just that they have an effect on your life if you make this person significant in it). So, this "great" person becomes "good enough" to you.
"Good enough" sounds like settling to me. Take the above work example, for instance: The job is "good enough" because you enjoy the work and it meets your needs, but the people suck. That exact same job may be out there somewhere, but with better people working there. And it would be "great" for you, if you could find that job, but you don't bother with it because you've got "good enough." But, wouldn't your quality of life be so much better if you did work the "great" job?
Using the example of the significant other: your quality of life, again, could be a lot "great(er)" if you were with someone very similiar, but who doesn't have the baggage mentioned in my example.
Sometimes, we tell people that they are "perfect" for us, but it's a lie. We should be honest, "Hey girl, you're good enough for me." However, saying that probably isn't going to help the situation much... so I'd recommend avoiding honesty...
But I digress.
We stop seeking the holy grail, because we've found something that we can drink out of. And there's nothing wrong with that. Or is there?
I'm currently working a job that pretty much started out in the low end of the "good enough" range and sunk down even further as of late. I'm currently very unhappy working in the "not good enough" job that I have. I can also think back to my marriage (which is now long over) and recall that I knew damn well I was settling into a "good enough" situation, which -- predictibly -- became "not good enough" over time.
I'm immersed in doing job searching stuff and dating. So, I'm working on getting away from "not good enough" stuff, but I can't even find something (in regards to a job or a girl) that is "good enough." And because of past situations that have gotten worse and become "not good enough," "good enough" -- as described in this blog entry -- is no longer "good enough." I realize that probably doesn't make any sense... if you still follow me, here, you are probably a really wonderful person... or bat-shit crazy.
I'm looking for "great" things while I wallow in "not good enough." My quality of life is less than what I want/need due to "not good enough" things.
I go to my job every day and do what I'm supposed to. But, much of it frustrates me and it's tough to keep it together. I want to scream some times. It used to be, that this job was "good enough," not because of the work that I do, but because the people that I worked with were really good. There are some "great" people there, but there are less and less "great" people and more and more "flat out assholes" (which are rather low on the scale) that work around me.
I go on first dates from time to time, but if I don't feel that I'm going to get something "great" out of it, then I don't pursue second dates.
"Perfect" is just plain unattainable. I understand. I've come to grips, for the most part, with it. I dream of "perfect" and it's good to dream. Imagination keeps the mind young and active. And part of me believes that I will ultimately end up in a "perfect" job and I'll meet that "perfect" person. Seeking them out, however, is killing me. Going on all these dates that don't go anywhere. Scrolling through tons of shitty of jobs. So, I set the bar a little lower for my own sanity. If I find a "great" sounding job, I'm going for it. Hell, I may even go for something that is "good enough" just to get ouf the "not good enough" situation that I'm currently in, even if, that would be settling.
Where was I? Oh yes. Follow your dreams, or something. And then give up when you can't reach them. 'Cause that is life.
*Also, spell check isn't working on my new computer yet and I don't know how to fix that. I'm not going to proof read this, well, it's rather depressing and my tummy wants some breakfast. So I'm off to the diner for some bacon and eggs and apple juice. Cheers.
Other things have big effects on a person's life, but I think the two that I mentioned are the major ones. It's funny, though, because how can one possibly know that they are in the most perfect job for them? How can one know that they are with the most perfect person for them? You can't. Unless you have worked every job and cohabitated with every person in the world.
It's pretty obvious that finding "perfect" is an insurmountable goal (whether you'll let your mind accept that fact or not) and so, aren't we all just constantly settling?
We work jobs that seem "good enough" because we have not found "perfect." We marry people who are "good enough" because the "perfect" person may still be out there.
Of course, it's possible that by some stroke of luck one could end up with that "perfect" job or that "perfect" spouse. Just by the nature of percentages, and the way that fate sometimes works, it's a thing that could happen. But, the reality is that most of us are settling and we don't even know it.
What is "perfect?" With so many variables that any given job or spouse could have, I'm pretty confident that there may not even be a "perfect" for everyone. Let's face it, some of us have various issues that prevent us from acknowledging how great something is. (As a side note: "great" is somewhere between "good enough" and "perfect" on the scale). And some people may have more than one "perfect." For the sake of this blog entry, we are going to assume that there is a "perfect" and that there is only one "perfect."
If that is indeed the case (that there is one "perfect" job for everyone and one "perfect" significant person for everyone), then what is the step down?
Let's say that one step down is "great!" There are probably a lot of "great" jobs that you can work at and a lot of "great" people that you can shack up with. However, where the hell are these jobs and these people? They are spread out all over the world... and the world is a big fucking place. There are so many people and some of them really fucking suck and they have jobs and they work at the places where you work making the jobs less than what they could be.
You could find a "great" job as far as the work is concerned, but the people that you work with are really shitty. So, you work a job because it's "good enough." It pays the bills; it does what it is supposed to do. It's a means to support whatever (food, shelter, big screen TV -- that kind of stuff).
The same thing happens with your love interests. You find someone who is "great," but they may work a job that is a different shift than you and you barely see them. Or they may have family that they need to travel to frequently. Or they have a kid. (Not that any of these things are bad things overall, it's just that they have an effect on your life if you make this person significant in it). So, this "great" person becomes "good enough" to you.
"Good enough" sounds like settling to me. Take the above work example, for instance: The job is "good enough" because you enjoy the work and it meets your needs, but the people suck. That exact same job may be out there somewhere, but with better people working there. And it would be "great" for you, if you could find that job, but you don't bother with it because you've got "good enough." But, wouldn't your quality of life be so much better if you did work the "great" job?
Using the example of the significant other: your quality of life, again, could be a lot "great(er)" if you were with someone very similiar, but who doesn't have the baggage mentioned in my example.
Sometimes, we tell people that they are "perfect" for us, but it's a lie. We should be honest, "Hey girl, you're good enough for me." However, saying that probably isn't going to help the situation much... so I'd recommend avoiding honesty...
But I digress.
We stop seeking the holy grail, because we've found something that we can drink out of. And there's nothing wrong with that. Or is there?
I'm currently working a job that pretty much started out in the low end of the "good enough" range and sunk down even further as of late. I'm currently very unhappy working in the "not good enough" job that I have. I can also think back to my marriage (which is now long over) and recall that I knew damn well I was settling into a "good enough" situation, which -- predictibly -- became "not good enough" over time.
I'm immersed in doing job searching stuff and dating. So, I'm working on getting away from "not good enough" stuff, but I can't even find something (in regards to a job or a girl) that is "good enough." And because of past situations that have gotten worse and become "not good enough," "good enough" -- as described in this blog entry -- is no longer "good enough." I realize that probably doesn't make any sense... if you still follow me, here, you are probably a really wonderful person... or bat-shit crazy.
I'm looking for "great" things while I wallow in "not good enough." My quality of life is less than what I want/need due to "not good enough" things.
I go to my job every day and do what I'm supposed to. But, much of it frustrates me and it's tough to keep it together. I want to scream some times. It used to be, that this job was "good enough," not because of the work that I do, but because the people that I worked with were really good. There are some "great" people there, but there are less and less "great" people and more and more "flat out assholes" (which are rather low on the scale) that work around me.
I go on first dates from time to time, but if I don't feel that I'm going to get something "great" out of it, then I don't pursue second dates.
"Perfect" is just plain unattainable. I understand. I've come to grips, for the most part, with it. I dream of "perfect" and it's good to dream. Imagination keeps the mind young and active. And part of me believes that I will ultimately end up in a "perfect" job and I'll meet that "perfect" person. Seeking them out, however, is killing me. Going on all these dates that don't go anywhere. Scrolling through tons of shitty of jobs. So, I set the bar a little lower for my own sanity. If I find a "great" sounding job, I'm going for it. Hell, I may even go for something that is "good enough" just to get ouf the "not good enough" situation that I'm currently in, even if, that would be settling.
Where was I? Oh yes. Follow your dreams, or something. And then give up when you can't reach them. 'Cause that is life.
*Also, spell check isn't working on my new computer yet and I don't know how to fix that. I'm not going to proof read this, well, it's rather depressing and my tummy wants some breakfast. So I'm off to the diner for some bacon and eggs and apple juice. Cheers.